You know, sometimes you just have too much to do, too many commitments, and then you just need to prioritize. I'm sad that I havn't been able to prioritize my blog, and also my Youtube-channel (which actually has quite a following, 4000+! One of my videos actually have over 100K views! O.o ). I wish I could be more active doing inking videos and tutorials...
You know what? I think I need to be more selfish now. I need to prioritize my own stuff – my blog and my Youtube-channel – to get my own self asteem back. I have been moping around doing routine stuff ever since I finished working on my latest comic When I Close My Eyes, a "short" manga with "only" 42 pages. (Haha, 10 years ago I would have called that a long manga, I guess!)
I finished it about 2 months ago, and after that I mostly worked with organizing stuff, like Nosebleed Studio, Malmö Seriefest and other organisations I've been part of. And during that time, I have more and more felt lousy, worthless and untalented...
I don't know why!? I mean, my mangas have fans, and a couple of weeks ago I even got to be on Swedish television, on one of the most popular childrens shows on Barnkanalen, called Superlördag (Super Saturday):
After that appearance on the show, I went to some schools and libraries to do manga workshops (unrelated, I had booked them months before) and suddently I was famous! All the little kids had watched the show and wanted my autograph! Haha, of course I enjoyedthe attention (even from a room full of 9-14 y.o. kids) but also felt a bit taken aback by the difference in attitudes people have towards you when you've been on TV. It's crazy...
But even though this all happened, I still can't help but feeling like I'm losing a race... I have been sending Sword Princess Amaltea to International publishers and still no positive reply. Only a few so far, so I guess I should try harder, but not getting any response at all from some of them is what makes me confused. Should I wait? Or should I look for others? Or is it a pointless game since my name is unknown in those countries? Do I need to go there personally, maybe even travel to some cons or make myself a name first? So many questions...
Still, maybe I just need to put more effort into my Youtube-ing, and they migth notice me... Or does that even matter to them?? Gaaaah!! *confused*
Anyway, this blog entry really should be about the latest manga I have made, When I Close My Eyes. I haven't posted anything here about it, but that's because I now use Instagram alot for quick updates about my everyday life and especially my manga drawing.
I updated throughout the process of making this manga. Here are some posts I made:
Finished character designs for my upcoming short story manga for Nosebleed Studio's 10 years jubilee anthology. This manga I'll ink with a 0.05 fine liner instead of steel nibs, because I feel like a change. I want the more rough and sketchy look that I get from a dry fine liner. Experimenting! #nosebleedstudio #drawingmanga #characterdesign #manga #mangaka
With this manga, I decided I wanted to do something else than what I have made previously for Nosebleed Studio's anthologies. The previous three anthologies all had storys made by me for sending to Shueisha Ribon Magazine in Japan, for their monthly manga competitions (which I blogged about here and here). But after my third entry did not place, probably because it was too mature for their audience, I felt I did not thrive anymore in doing mangas for a competition like theirs. It felt too constricting and I wanted more freedom.
So the story for When I Close My Eyes was a story I truly felt I wanted to tell. Without rules and restrictions. It's about a your person, Lo, who a lone traveller in our world. And no, I'm not going to tell you anymore, because then I might spoil it for you!
I also tried a new inking technique with fineliners instead of my beloved steel nibs. It was a nice change, and I like the rough and experimental look it gives to the drawings. Less mainstream, which worked better for the story.
Here's the cover illustration and the beginning pages, as sneak peek:
The manga was printed in Nosebleed Studio's 10 Years Jubilee Anthology, which will be released at Stockholm International Comic Festival on the 7-8th of May! But... we are right now taking preorders via our webshop, and then you also get a discount:
OMG!! Nosebleed Studio's new anthology just arrived from the printers this week!! It looks so fab!! And we are also having an awesome preorder campaign on our website www.nosebleed-studio.com where you can get the book, an artprint, a pretty manga badge and a chibi sticker — all for just 80 sek (~8 euro) + shipping if you order before the 2nd of May. This is probably the best manga anthology we have done so far, so make sure to get a copy! You can read more about it and the mangas inside at our website. And yes, that is red metallic on the title!! Kyaaah!! 🌟.✨🎉 #nosebleedstudio #swedishmanga #manga #mangaka #swedish #anthology #comics #comicsanthology
☆☆☆ Thank you for reading! ☆☆☆